Friday, September 26, 2014

A New Ending to an Old Tortured Story


A few weeks ago
Filled with Joy
I made contact with my dad
after 30 years apart

Earlier this month
We visited him at his home in Waco
and had some good moments and some sad

I hoped it would be a new beginning
But it was not to be...

I can forgive past hurts
I can use compassion and empathy to understand another's viewpoints
But allowing someone to continue to ridicule and belittle you or your family
is to enable abuse -and that I will not do

So, today, I ended this tortured tale

3 times he walked away -
when I was a baby, when I was a teen, and when I was a young adult
This time, I walked away

The ridicule and snide remarks end now
a new and final ending to this old and tortured story

9/26/14
Deb Simpson

A New Ending to an Old Story


A few weeks ago, I reunited with my dad
Soon after, we visited him in Waco
I hoped we could make a new start
But it was not to be

I can forgive a lot of things
I can put aside past hurts
I can find compassion and empathy
And understand others viewpoints

But understanding past hurts is different
Than allowing it to continue
That is a form of abuse
and that I will not tolerate

So, today I ended my relationship with my dad

He walked away from me 3 times
When I was a baby, when I was a teen and when I was a young adult
This time, I walked away

A new and final ending to an old and tortured story

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Sunday, July 27, 2014

One More Time

One More Time
You asked me
One more time
I shared
One more time
I wondered if you ever truly cared

One more time
I silenced
the words  I need to say
One more time
I wondered
When you  would walk away

Like the day I was born
When I was a teen
When I became a young adult
Who disappointed you again

One more time
I cried
For the times
I've tried
For what was - back then
For what could have been
For the pain that remains
For the few remaining days

For what may never be

One More Time.

Deb Simpson
7/27/14,

Saturday, July 19, 2014

New Manuscript in progress.

I am now working on a new and exciting biography.   It is untitled as yet but promises to be an exciting and enriching project.

My dad and I recently reconnected after being apart for 30 years. We are rediscovering each other and sharing the stories of our lives.

My dad, Joe Hart, is retired now and living in Waco Texas. But he has  lived a rich life filled with travel and the contract engineering work that he loved.  He often says that he " saw the USA at 70 miles an hour", he traversed the country, often  pulling  a travel camper which would become his home while he was working the next job.  Dad was part of a community of " job shoppers" who built friendships and lives and they moved from one job to another.   Dad wrote a book about his job shopping days, travels , and friends and this book has given me both history and insight about his life and beliefs.  But Dad's book about job shopping is only part of his story. ,  I can truly say that he lived life to the fullest.

Dad was never still.  Always learning and reaching for the next opportunity or adventure.  Dad was a licensed pilot, licensed realtor, ham radio operator, and entrepreneur.  He owned several businesses including 2 mobile home parks, a mini donut franchise, a logging operation, and  job shopping agency.  Dad also designed and built 4 homes, his first when he was in his twenties. Never one to be still, Dad also pursued the hobbies he loves.

Dad is an avid outdoorsman and yearns to be walking in the woods. His annual elk hunting trips are some of his best memories.  He found the hunting to be even more challenging and enjoyable when he began using a bow and arrow rather than a gun.  This led him to a new hobby- making hunting bows by hand. He continues to do this still, even though the use of his hands are limited and the manual manipulations of creating a bow are difficult.

Today, Dad spends much of his time caring for his wife of 30 years, Laura, who has Alzheimer's.  Each day, Dad struggles daily with physical pain from a fall in 2005 that almost ended his life and left him partially disabled.  Somehow, amidst the physical pain of his injury and the emotional pain of losing a spouse to a cruel illness that destroys her memories, Dad continues to be the strong and innovative person he has always been. When the injury to his hand left him unable to hold a guitar pick, he designed and built an enclosure for the injured hand that held an imbedded guitar pick and once more allowed him to continue another if his lifelong hobbies. Playing the guitar.

Through the "magic " of Google search, we found each other again and I look forward to our daily phone calls , many emails, and soon- an in person visit.   Dad's grandfather lived to the age of 100. Hopefully Dad will also.

I look forward to capturing the excitement and expanse of his life in his biography. There is still so much to learn and share about this talented man that I call Dad